A new process was born.  Harrison was the first thought that entered my mind as I drifted awake on July 28th.  I took a moment to remember his smile. Before hopping in the shower I noticed I still have a line on my stomach caused by the hormones from pregnancy.  A marker that I am STILL Harrison’s mommy! So lets do this!!

Then I checked my phone….OOOHHH Time Hop is available.  🙂  It was the above picture of Bennett 2 years ago.  Both of our boys had due dates that were EXACTLY 2 years apart.  When Harrison was alive I used to study every 2 year Time Hop.  I would marvel at how similar the boys looked.  I would try to find differences. I would fill my Facebook timeline with “Guess Who?” posts.

Now I see Time Hop photos from two years ago of Bennett, all I see is Harrison’s loss.  It reminds me of what Harrison should look like today.  What he should be doing today.  What milestone we have missed.  It sucks!  So I quickly divert my attention to the positive.  I remember that Harrison lived a FULL life!  His life has purpose and meaning!  I will not dwell on what his life does not involve, but focus on what it does.  So I started July 28th with a personal moment of “Mind Over Matter.”

Then something AMAZING happened!!!

The messages started to post on Facebook.  Text messages started to blow up my phone.  My blog views climbed. There were so many messages I could not keep up.  HARRISON HAS AN ARMY!  An army of people remembering him and spreading love.  People all over the U.S… And beyond!  Strangers, friends, and family pulled together. I felt we were not alone today.  We don’t have to do this by ourselves.  I felt the powers of human kindness stretch its arms and honor our sweet Harrison.  Check the “Share your Acts of Kindness” to see more.

Harrison made an impact in the world today!  This brings me great strength and joy!  Thank you to everyone who participated.  Please continue to join us as we will celebrate Harrison’s life once again on Aug 28th.

Remember to use the hashtag #harrysjoy28 so I can find your post and publish it on this site!  I will look on Instagram and Facbook.

Bennett’s Act of Kindness

Bennett’s act of kindness was to bring small gifts for his teachers and friends at school.  He spent an hour this weekend deciding which toys would be perfect for his friends.  Letting my two year old run loose in Party City was an exercise of patience for this Mom.  This act of patience was my first act of kindness.

Bennett’s first selection was iridescent sunglasses.  If you know my son, this is a natural choice, as asscessories are his thing. Eventually he added monster finger puppets, cars, and bouncy balls to the basket.  I did have to intervene when he wanted to buy blue velvet pimp hats.  Thank goodness I was able to convince him the hats wouldn’t fit inside the boxes, “No match.”

When we returned home with our loot Bennett patiently wrapped every….single… gift.  He sorted, checked, and double checked that each box received one of every toy.  I thought he would lose focus, but he wrapped all 16 boxes.  Then he insisted we decorate the boxes with stickers.

 During the process we kept talking about how the gifts are for his friends.  We talked about how the gifts would make his friends happy.  Then we talked about Harrison and how much joy he and Harrison bring Mommy and Daddy.  We talked about how much fun it was to hold Harrison and snuggle.  Bennett LOVED to snuggle Harrison!!  We had snuggle time daily!

We bought Bennett a doll when we found out we were expecting Harrison.  We thought it would help to communicate Harrison’s arrival to a then non-verbal 18 month old.  Bennett bonded with this doll immediately.  He took the doll for daily walks around the block for months.  After Harrison arrived Bennett would care for “baby” while I cared for Harrison.  His doll caring skills became much more advanced.  He would insist to change the dolls diaper, clothes, nurse, burp, swaddle, and rock his baby doll.  It brought me great joy to see Bennett’s compassion towards Harrison and his doll.

Eventually the doll was forgotten.  Harrison became the new doll.  This was dangerous, yet sweet all in the same breath.  Bennett would crawl in my lap while I nursed Harrison and place his hand on my breast.  I know, sounds funny.  But he was “helping.”  Plus he was occupied… So let it be!  He would also want to help with the wiping during diaper changes. (This didn’t always go well.)  Plus he consistently snuggled and helped me burp Harrison.  Bennett is a great big brother and Harrison was a sweet tolerant baby brother.