Another Friday has arrived.  Jason told me today he was feeling absolutely fine today.  Until suddenly, on the way home from work, he ached to hold Harrison in his arms.

During my week I went out to watch the Blue Springs South Cheerleaders perform at Mock Regionals.   I enjoyed the performance!!  They are going to kill it tonight!!  Jason called me on my way home.  I looked at the clock… 8:15… he was suppose to be putting Bennett to bed. Why was he calling?

Immediately, my mind returned to his phone call at 4:30 on June 5th.  Why was he calling at 4:30? He was still at work.  Did he get off early? YAY!! I answered to learn Harrison was in crisis.  Our worse nightmare had begun.

So this week, when my phone was ringing at 8:15 my heart leaped to a horrible conclusion.  I answered the phone, ” Jason? What’s wrong?”  Jason responded, “Bennett’s vomiting.”

I never knew a phrase involving vomit would provide me incredible relief. Of course I was concerned for Bennett and felt bad for Jason. But I was thankful everyone was alive.

Here is the interesting thing, my rational brain knew he was fine. But my heart ached in remembering Harrison’s loss. So I still chose to spend the entire night awake listening to him breath in and out.  Occasionally, I would even kiss him softly regardless of the lingering smell that failed to wash away in the bath.

This is  just a reminder that we are all  forever changed. We definitely have longer periods of being “ok,” or even “good.” But when the sadness or anxiety hits, it still carries the same intensity as it did 7 weeks ago.

So let’s get to the good stuff! 

I love remembering Harrison’s Joy.  So here goes a Harry story….  Harrison was a breast fed baby.  This means his poo literally didn’t stink.  But that doesn’t mean his gas didn’t stink.  Nightly we sit together as a family and have dinner.  Typically Harrison was in my lap. We would be talking and engaging with Bennett when the loudest man fart would vibrate the air, followed by a prideful baby grin.  I’m telling you, people, this is no exaggeration!  It was an adult sound and it DID stink.  But Bennett would giggle with delight and Harrison would smile.  Even Harry’s farts spread joy in our life.

Ok, enough Fart talk…

 The 28th is fast approaching! This is the anniversary of Harrison’s birthday. Last month, I fretted about the day. Now I am excited to implement our random acts of kindness!! Remember, there are NO rules! It does not have to cost money! It does not have to take extensive time. Just spread joy!

I have been so excited to hear how  people plan to help us spread Harry’s Joy. This process has been so wonderful to have something  joyful to focus our attention. I would love for you to share your stories on this blog!  I started a new page where I am publishing your acts of kindness.  Click on “Share your Random acts of Kindness” to learn more.