So this week I had a “Mommy Moment.” You know that moment when you are tired, your child is tired, you are in a hurry and your child is NOT! It’s not a perfect moment. For me, it’s typically in the mornings. I’m a slow waker! Like, REALLY SLOW!!! It may be 8 am and I have been physically awake since 6am (or 5:30) but I’m really not “all there.”
One day this week I was knee deep in a morning rush. Bennett was NOT having it! He could care less that I had snoozed one extra time putting us on a tight schedule. The day before he dressed himself. However, this morning he was refusing to remove his “JJs” aka pajamas.
I tried all the tricks; giving him choices, reverse psychology, bribery, and begging. He didn’t care, he just cried. So I proceeded to push my personal agenda. I got him changed, packed his breakfast, brushed his teeth, collected his backpack while ignoring his whine the entire time.
By the time we got to the car I was ready for a nap! Then Bennett insisted on getting in the car seat by himself, “I do it!” So I let him do it alone. But he proceeded to explore the entire backseat of the car. Pointing out all his findings…. an umbrella, sunglasses, an ink pen, trash, etc. My impatience grew. Now he is not only slowing me down, he is NOW pointing out my need to clean the car. I gave him a warning, “Bennett if your not in your seat by the count to three Mommy will help you. That’s 1!” He responded passionately,” NO help you.” (This is not a typo, he referred to himself as “you.”) So I said, “That’s 2….. That’s 3, Mommy helps!” I put him in the car seat.
The next thing I know he is wailing, kicking, and screaming! I am trying to restrain him into the car seat. I felt horrible. My Mommy’s guilt was kicking in. I swear consequunes are more difficult on the disaplinarian than the child.
Then I start questioning myself. Did I make the right choice? He is buckled, I did make it to work on time, but I’m just irritated. And I think of Harrison. I think, what I wouldn’t do to add one more stress to this situation my adding Harrison in the mix.
I remember juggling two kids during this task just 4 months ago. This was an absolute 3 ring circus. Harrison HATED the car seat. The second you clicked it into the car the screaming would begin. This was a typical car loading routine.
1. Carry Harrison bundled in car seat along with two diaper bags, and my purse out into the garage while holding Bennett’s hands and persuading him to participate.
2. Open Bennett’s car door and encourage him to try to climb into his seat.
3. Carry Harrison around the car and place inside…. Crying begins.
4. Walk back to buckle Bennett in the car. Simultaneously, he has now crawled into the front seat and is pretending to drive.
5. Walk to driver side and remove Bennett from car. Harrison still crying….
6. Fight Bennett into his car seat and buckle. Harrison and Bennett crying….
7. Return to Harrison, take car seat out of the car and jostle him to a calm state. Place him back in the car…. Crying resumes….
8. Get in drivers seat, turn on radio and drowned out crying….
What I wouldn’t do to hear that cry again. To feel that sense of completely overwhelmed and defeated. All because I love those two boys and I will take chaos over their absence any day.
So today I am not seeking or recommending any parenting strategies. In fact, I’m sure some child psychologist would have a hay day correcting my above parenting. I am simply wanting to share. I think all parents would agree that parenting is Gosh Darn Hard! But I know that most parents would agree it is worth it!
This week my plan is to survive the struggles and add more uninterrupted connecting time. More time appreciating Bennett, encouraging him, absorbing him, and loving him. His chaos is worth it!!!!
Leave a Reply