I can’t believe Harrison would be 9 months old on Monday. I can’t help but ponder all the milestones we have missed. I imagine how Harrison and Bennett would be able to interact at this point. He has now been gone longer than he was alive. I know it’s not productive to ponder things that are out of my control. Most the time I avoid pondering painful emotions. However, when it comes to Harrison, he is worth it.
As this 9 month anniversary approaches I am once again thankful for the amazing distraction of Harry’s Joy. During my time of anticipating and enduring this birthdate I have something to keep me busy. The positivity that I experience surprising someone with a random act of kindness is uplifting. Plus the act of watching others honor Harrison in their own act of kindness is a wonderful reminder that we are not alone. We are so blessed to have friends, family, and strangers that are willing to think of our sweet boy and do something kind for another. So thank you all for joining our mission.
This weekend I have been home alone with Bennett as my husband plays in a golf tournament out of town. We call lone parenting, survival mode. I have focused on nothing except meeting Bennett’s needs. I have to say I have enjoyed the weekend, and I have realized I envy my son’s spirit.
Today we took many walks. During our walks he jumped in water puddles and when that wasn’t enough he bent over and splashed with his hands bringing mud upon his smiling face.
He investigated each leaf on the sidewalk and collected his favorites. He stopped to pick and blow every dandelion puff along the way.
He found a butterfly and begged it to land on his arm. What I wouldn’t do to live in a mind that is constantly taking time to explore! A mind that has no fear or schedule. A mind completely engrossed with the task at hand, even if it shifts to a new task every 30 seconds!
I loved learning and consciously observing Bennett’s
naive spirit this weekend. I promise I won’t start throwing myself down to the ground when I don’t get my way and I won’t protest MY TURN when there is a line at the grocery. However, I’m going to try to multi task less, and live in the moment more; just like Bennett.